Dear Jessica Brennan,
I was at a local radio station a few weeks back and one of the people I was meeting with said something that really stuck with me. He said that a good radio station plays great music and offers their clients excellent opportunities for exposure that will increase their business and cause. But then he said, that this is not enough. He went on to say that a good radio station recognizes that it is a hub for listeners, advertisers and the community. So part of the function of a good station needs to be that of connector. The radio station often knows first what is going on, whether it is an event, a concert or a sale, so part of the role of a good station is to share information (when not betraying any trust) and connect people, so that they can create synergy and have greater success. The radio station gets nothing tangible or monetary for this in return, but it also costs them nothing.
That got me thinking, (as I do). We all are a hub. We all are in a position regularly or sporadically where we can be the connector of people to opportunities because we know something first, or if not first, early enough to make a connection and help others succeed. So why don’t we do it? Is it because we don’t like doing things when we get nothing tangible or monetary in return, or does it go even deeper than that?
I remember the author Carolyn Myss telling a story about two men. One asked his friend, let’s call the friend John, for $1000 to pay his mortgage and feed his family. He was temporarily out of work and needed a little financial bridge until he started his new job. John had lots of money and said, “Of course, you have to eat,” and gave him the money without hesitation. A few years later the first man was back on his feet and had long since paid John back. He approached John again and asked for $1000, this time to expand his business which was starting to do very well. John was hesitant to part with the money this time, even though he had considerably more wealth now than he had had when the friend first came to him.
Why? Why wouldn’t John give his friend the $1000? His friend had proven that he would pay him back. John had more than enough money, that $1000 wasn’t going to make any difference to him.
As Carolyn Myss points out, it is human nature for us to help our friends get by, but not to help our friends pass us by.
I will never forget that story. Now that you’ve heard it you may, as I have, recognize this behaviour in yourself from time to time.
All legitimate business dealings aside, and of course the need for us to put food on our tables and a roof over our heads, I would say, that not unlike the radio station, part of the function of a good human being needs to be that of connector. When a person is first to know what is going on, and recognizes that they could help another person succeed by connecting them to an opportunity, part of the role of a good person is to share information (when not betraying any trust), and connect people, so that they can create synergy and have greater success.
Could you do it? Freely and quietly give so that a friend could pass you by? Would that be difficult for you? Try it and see.
Oh the lessons we learn,
Love Mum xo
