Dear Jessica Brennan,
You have always had a great command of the English language. I think you were born with that. Good thing you weren’t born in China because a great command of the English language may not have helped you as much there. Many people do not have a clue when it comes to phonics, and the internet isn’t helping with that. I speak one language, called English, a little bit. I know people who speak five languages and it blows my mind. I search endlessly for words that apply to my own dialect, let alone having to operate in a variety of languages. I do think though that English has to be a tough one to learn.
There’s which and witch, mixed with two, to, too and tutu. Sense, cents and scent all sent to try us. How is anyone supposed to get their heads around that? Then there are phrases like “get your head around that”.
I was watching TV and someone said, “Call the State Police!” I thought, how does someone learning English know how to figure that one out? Call the State Police. Why would you call the state, police? Why wouldn’t you just call the state, the state? When driving on the highway, I saw a sign that said, “Always keep two chevrons apart”. Why? What will they do if they get together? Do you see where I’m going with this? English is a tough one.
Anyone trying to learn another language has my respect, and anyone trying to actually live in a country that doesn’t speak their native tongue is a super-hero as far as I’m concerned, especially if it’s English they are learning.
We have all these great rules in the English language like, I before E except after C, (with the caveat) unless it says A as in neighbour or weigh”. (Or I guess, if you’re spelling weird foreign beer stein.)
The letter F can be a tricky one too. F should end the words enough and cough, right, but just when you realize it doesn’t, along comes “through”? Why doesn’t it sound like thruff?
Why is there a g in gnat or a k in know, but not in no or Nat. The word wind winds me up. Aloof and book should rhyme as far as I can tell, and while we’re talking about it, why is there an h in rhyme at all? Do and dew rhyme, but how would someone know that?
I am very glad that English is my first language because I would never have been able to learn it as an adult. To all of you who are learning it as a second language, keep at it! To the rest of you, can I make some suggestions? B4N, LOL, 2moro, BTW – these are not words. If you were born in the 80s and had to endure the Whole Language movement, you are owed an apology from the highest office in the county, but that’s still not an excuse to write an essay in text-talk.
If you’re going to be BI5, don’t waste part of the five minutes typing, just go. You’ll be back in five minutes after all. If she’s really your best friend, write it out because if you say BFF, we all know you don’t like her that much. And L8R, well that’s just silly. How long does it take to type “later” as opposed to looking for the 8 and typing L8R? The first time I typed it I got l*R. I’m sure that means something too.
If you can’t bring yourself to stop with the text-talk can you at least learn the difference between there, their and they’re, and figure out the difference between your vs you’re because you are (you’re) driving me crazy with that.
Love Mum xo
