Dear Jessica Brennan,
I loved you thoroughly as a child, a teenager and an adult. That’s indisputable. However, my love did not protect you from bumps and bruises along the way. My love was whole but not perfect, nor was your childhood.
I was a young mother, and you often taught me more than I taught you. You were a stoic girl and kept most pain to yourself even when you were tiny. You didn’t want to disappoint, so you worried instead.
I know this because while you are your own person, you are also your mother’s daughter. I did precisely the same thing. You followed a generational template.
I hid my pain and spent most of my childhood, then my adult life trying to read and think my way out of things that don’t have thinking solutions. It turns out the answer is self-love, not strategy.
Here’s what I now know. As much as I love you, only one person can love that little girl in you better than me, and that’s you.
You can give her wings by being present with her and the wounds she hides. Just consistently waking up each morning, bringing her face into your mind, and giving her a silent “I love you” before you get out of bed will set her free.
In a moment of worry or anxiety, a simple two-word meditation to her, “You’re safe,” will start to calm your body down.
And in those times when you look in the mirror and don’t see the beauty you are, see her little face and whisper, “You’re perfect.” It will transform you into pure light because she is always with you, this infinite child passenger. You can nurture any parts of her that still need to heal. You can give her what she’s always wanted, what we all want, to be seen and loved. And in doing so, you can calm your adult mind and heal your grown-up heart.
Love,
Mum xo
