Dear Jessica Brennan,
In this very open and public world we live in, we tend to think that the good works we do must be seen, in order to have an impact. I have noticed though, that the opposite might actually be true.
Helping someone else accomplish something with no expectation of payment, gratitude or public recognition for yourself, can be difficult in this aggressive “me” world we currently live in.
What if no one ever finds out what a fantastic person I am? Maybe I should post something on social media just to be safe.
When I see something in my feed that highlights a good work done by another person, I am immediately suspicious if it is clear that the person doing the good work also setup the camera to capture it. I’m not this way with corporations really, as promotion is generally part of their strategy, but should it be part of an individual’s strategy?
If you are doing good in an effort to be recognized, then your motivation is the praise not the good. It doesn’t mean that good won’t be done, but make sure you are clear on what is motivating you. If you are doing it to be seen, then you can know that the exposure is your prize not the action itself.
Often if someone’s motivation is skewed you will hear statements like this:
I brought her a gift back from Europe and she didn’t even tell her friends about it.
I helped him move and I wasn’t even in one of the pictures posted on Instagram.
I praised her in a meeting and she didn’t even comment on my project.
The word “even” seems to play a role in this kind of statement.
I did this massive thing and she couldn’t even be bothered to recognize it publicly.
Good works sometimes end up being outwardly recognized, but praise is not mandatory, and if the good deed is your motivation, rather than the accolades, you won’t care that no one knows. Self promotion tends to breed distrust, so let others tell the world about your many kindnesses, don’t form a strategy and social media campaign to highlight them.
In my experience, good works usually find light without the help of the one doing them.
Love,
Mum xo
