Dear Jessica Brennan,
In writing, there are a variety of ways to describe scenes and events. Some writers use flowery and descriptive language like:
As the night grew darker and the dark grew thicker, the damp bathing suits of little cub scouts swished up the path toward the cabins. Curly-mopped heads, nodding with sleepiness, gripped memories of a day too perfect to leave behind floating in a birchbark canoe or burning in a well-sung campfire. A sleeping bag never felt so good to the camp counsellor whose resolve had been tested by misbehaving little boys for most of the day.
Another way to paint the scene.
“I’ve had it, now get to bed!” shouted the camp counsellor.
Both bits of writing, told us that the tired camp counsellor needed a good night’s sleep, but how the words were assembled may have given us a different emotional response to the situation.
This is also true as we recount stories to each other and speak to one another in our day to day lives.
You: How was your day?
Me: It sucked.
You (in your head): Oh, this is going to be a great night!
Or
You: How was your day?
Me: It could have been better. Two of my staff were off sick, and we had a big deadline. I had to do the work myself and I hope it is right because I had to submit it by 4pm. I’m feeling pretty anxious about the quality of the proposal. I likely should have planned better and had it done before today, so I’m feeling like I’ve let down the side, even though I was the one who showed up and did the work. Lesson learned, I guess. I’m glad to be home.
You: Why don’t I get you a glass of wine and order some Chinese Food?
“It sucked” feels like a slammed door while the fuller explanation not only gives some context to why the day sucked, but it allows a little bit of burden-sharing between the speaker and the listener. Both feel better in the end. Also, when you give some details it provides an opportunity for some reflection and self analysis. “I should have planned better, but at least I showed up.”
I’m not suggesting that every conversation needs to be relayed like a Dickens novel but wouldn’t you rather talk about the little bathing suits swishing up the path, than the screaming camp counsellor? Wouldn’t you rather share the burden, fun and joy of the story of your days, instead of shutting down the conversation before it starts?
I’m bad at this. I know readers might think I would be the one using all the descriptive words in conversation, but I often don’t. I can be pretty terse at times. I’m working on that though. I think when I’m stressed, my mind goes to the most accurate words as opposed to the ones that are likely to paint a fulsome picture of the events of the scenario. I get really clear, but don’t always give a lot of context.
I can be very direct and actually at times, Dear Jessica, I’m sure you might say I’m a bossy-boots.
Love,
Mum xo
