Dear Jessica Brennan,
One thing you learn quickly when you put out a blog, or put on a show, or write a book, is that there are critics everywhere. It used to be that public criticism was aimed only at the movie, literary and restaurant type of industries, but not anymore. The old “Everybody’s a Critic”, now victimizes all of us. The critics still swarm like gnats to infest every area of politics, food and the arts, but now they also feed on the comments and actions of normal people. Special thanks goes to social media and all those who worship it.
I worry about what it is doing to us and teaching us about life and that old-fashioned thing we used to call manners. “If you can’t say something nice”…and all that. I think we may be losing perspective and our ability to be polite. Being an armchair critic is the easiest thing to be. No obligation, just an opinion, some self-hatred, and an insatiable need for attention.
Being critical is lazy. “Oh I didn’t give the actor a standing ovation, after he knocked his brains out for two hours to entertain me, because I didn’t like the props”. No, you didn’t give him a standing ovation because you’re entitled and lethargic, and couldn’t be bothered standing up and admitting that he just did something you could never do.
Superiority and cowardice are joined to criticism like triplets, and this gets as ugly as ugly can be. Cowardice thrives in mired pools of anonymity, and here is where we now, in this era see it the most. When you’re called “por5ch3cat1906@hatred.jerk” or “un999babyknot@narcissist.rude” you can say whatever makes you feel powerful. When you’re angry, you can spew vile words with no restraint and no consequence.
Criticism should come with responsibility and ownership, and should be delivered with the intent to improve a situation. It should also be said in person when possible, and with the open understanding and acceptance that others may enjoy a different perspective.
This is called civility.
Love Mum xo
