5 Ways to Do Life Right

Dear Jessica Brennan,

Do you ever wonder if you’re doing life right? It can be hard to tell because every indicator is that everyone else has a perfect, shiny, Facebooky life and you don’t.  I’ve learned just about everything the hard way, so here are some tips from my vast experience of doing things wrong that hopefully will guide you.

If you’re doing it right, when you get home from work, your partner says, “I was looking forward to seeing you all day!” If you feel like you’re walking on eggshells all the time, you’re doing it wrong. Where you live, small or large, humble or grand is a sanctuary, a safe place.  Not just physically safe, but emotionally safe.  A place where you can truly relax; where you can express yourself.  If that’s how you feel in your home, then you’re doing it right.

If you’re doing it right, your job is fulfilling. You might not be Elon Musk, David Suzuki or Meghan Markle, and 90% of your day might be spent typing into a computer, scanning groceries or offering tech support, but something should move you about where you are. Perhaps it is your employee volunteer program, a close friend or a committee you sit on. If you hate every single day of your working life, you’re doing it wrong. There needs to be a spark, a reason.  This is so hard sometimes, but as a place to begin, be the kind one in your workplace. If you simply do this, the tides will shift and you will know you’re doing it right.

If you’re doing it right. Your friends are a huge priority to you, and you are to them as well. Your friends are glad to see you, and when you tell them good news, they are excited.  When you tell them bad news, they are supportive. If your friends tell you all the reasons why your ideas won’t work, and call you a weirdo and use you as the brunt of their jokes, you’re doing it wrong. If they use bad news to make you feel weak, or to say “I told you so”, you’re doing it wrong. Friends should be the family you choose. Close, warm, respectfully honest.  You can debate with a friend, and still be friends. Friends don’t have to be right to be your friend. Friends should make you laugh with a big belly laugh, and cry massive, lovely tears.  If you have friends who you can sit around with in your yoga pants and feel loved, you’re doing it right.

If you’re doing it right, you can be home alone for extended periods of time and not feel lonely. You can find all sorts of ways to occupy the you that wants to create and explore. You don’t mind sitting quietly with yourself and letting that little voice inside you speak.  If you’re trying to cover up that little voice, or fill every second of your day so you are never alone,  you’re doing it wrong. You are why you’re here. So get to know you. If you like yourself and like to spend time with yourself, you’re doing it right.

If you’re doing it right, you will trust yourself. You will trust your gut. You will use your own conscience as your guide.  You have a GPS system built into your solar plexus, so use it.  If you’re ignoring what you know to be right or what your body is showing you to be wrong or if you choose what is easy, more flashy or smaller, you’re doing it wrong. Easy, flashy and small can be great, but not if your body clenches up and that voice inside says, no. This I know all too well.  How many times do you meet someone and feel that they likely aren’t good for you, but you jump in anyway, only to find that you were right not to trust them? I’ve done it wrong a lot, so take it from me. If you are trusting your gut about a situation, a person or a choice, even if you can’t totally explain your decision at the time, you’re doing it right.

Having said all of this, you are your mother’s daughter and you will do it wrong a lot. Everyone does.

Love, Mum xo