Dear Jessica Brennan,
Your Dad and I have a number of points cards, and while I am better than Dad for these things, for the most part we don’t know where our points cards are. They might be in the closet in the spare room or in a purse on the shelf in the walk-in closet. One thing is for sure though, they are never with us when we need them. When we get to the check-out of whatever participating store, we just pay the bill without being too concerned about how many points we may have just lost and we snicker a little bit when the conscientious employee tells us that we can go home and go online to enter our purchase and claim our points that way. As if we would ever do that. This is not a judgement on points card users. It’s simply the way we roll.
At John’s Valu Mart in the village there is one cashier who is points card obsessed, and is on a personal mission to make sure you get your points on every visit. Her tenacity did cause me to download the President’s Choice App and now I swipe my phone. It’s easy and nice to get free things and mostly it means I don’t have to dodge the frowning, tsk-ing cashier. She sees me now as her own personal victory. We are best friends.
When Dad goes to a store and they ask him if he has a points card, he usually doesn’t answer, he just looks at me confused. If he does answer he always says the same thing with a bit of embarrassed outrage, “What? No.”
We aren’t wealthy people but somehow this whole trend got a bit lost on us. We never clipped coupons either or collected box tops. When we get to the cashier, we plan on paying the price on the item we purchased and are fully prepared to do so, which brings me to the real reason I am writing this note to you.
Why is it that often, like every single solitary time I shop anywhere on the planet, there’s always that one person (in a Great Wall of China line running halfway to Yanmenguan) who doesn’t figure out they will need to pay until the cashier says, “That will be $101.12.” Why is it that it always goes like this?
Cashier: That will be $101.12
Customer: Looks over shoulder like cashier must be talking to someone else
Cashier: Ma’am? $101.12?
Customer: Texting friend
Cashier: $101.12 please
Customer: Oh!
Customer Then starts rummaging through pockets, then a knapsack or handbag in search of a wallet.
The line continues to grow and now reaches Jiankou.
Cashier: Mouths “sorry” to the next waiting client, who being Canadian simply smiles back also apologetically.
The customer finally lays hands on a wallet and selects a points card and hands it to the cashier who swipes it and says again for the umpteenth time, $101.12.
The customer looks at the cashier and says, “I know” with a haughty sigh, then pulls a debit card that has to be coaxed out from way behind all the other cards, and hands it to the cashier who pushes it into the machine that the customer is leaning on in oblivion.
Cashier: When you’re ready
Customer: Begins poking in numbers then looks up. “I wanted cash back. Can I get cash back?”
Cashier: Cancels the transaction and re-enters the info.
Once the transaction finally goes through, the customer makes sure that all cards are re-inserted into the same slot they came out of and the wallet is clipped, zipped and placed back into the bottom of the handbag or knapsack, hidden in an appropriate place to annoy a waiting Chinese Wall line in the next establishment. Then and only then does the customer pick up the purchase and move out of the way so the cashier can process the next person waiting.
Bái mù! What is wrong with people? You’re in a store! You have to pay! At least know where your wallet is. We’re waiting….
Vent over.
Love Mum,
xo
