Dear Jessica Brennan,

You can learn a lot about people over a dinner table. Production companies make whole television series about this. I mean, look at the late Anthony Bourdain, and his fantastic show Parts Unknown, which taught us about the world around us primarily through food.

Food is glorious if you’re doing it right. Simple food is often best. Potlucks are great because there are often new things to try. I think potlucks, too, can be a metaphor for how people approach life. Let’s explore.

When you go to a potluck, are you the person who brings your tried and true recipe every time? You know it works, and people like it, so that’s what you bring. Of course, you are slightly bored making it, but there’s nothing wrong with lasagna. 

Or are you the person who always goes the extra mile? If it is St Patrick’s Day, do you make everything in the shape of a shamrock? Do you painstakingly shred candy canes at Christmas to make them look like glitter? Oh, the praise this will bring as the dinner unfolds!

Maybe you’re the person who knows there will be too many sweets on the table, so you bring protein to balance out the anticipated sugar highs for the guests. You cook a vegan meal, even though you like to eat meat. It’s not about you, after all. Pass the lentils.

Or do you bring a loaf of bread you picked up on the way to the event or a bag of salad with a pouch of dressing? No one will notice anyway, so what’s the point in going to any effort?

When it is time to clean up, do you put your hand up first, or do you grab your dirty bowl and dive into the car, pretending to have another place to be?

All of the above food options, of course, work for a potluck, but using it symbolically, how can we draw a parallel to life?

Do you come into each day with your tried and true recipe? The same reaction, opinion and approach? The exact schedule, the same outfits, the same everything. Zero risk, safe.

Or is everything a spectacle? Do you use glitter and shamrocks to cover up the quality of the cake beneath? Are you all sizzle and no stick?

Do you look out for everyone else and bring them what they need but deny yourself your own wants and needs? Are you serving tofu when you want steak? Are you saying what everyone wants to hear instead of what feels authentic?

Maybe you’re phoning it in with the easiest path rather than the most creative or needed. Your bag of salad is good enough. You use the same template for everything you do. It works okay.

What if you changed your approach just for a week to see what happened? What if you tried a new recipe and went for quality over splash? What if you looked after yourself first for once or went the extra mile instead of taking the easiest road? What might open up, end or change?

When it comes time to do the dishes after this potluck we call life, will we have fully participated? What did I bring? What did you bring?

Bon appĂ©tit, 

Love,

Mum xo