Unstoppable

Dear Jessica Brennan,

The other day as I was driving home from work the song “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now” by Starship came out of my shuffled playlist right after “Angels from the Realms of Glory” which I can’t seem to get rid of.  Maybe you can help me with that before it’s time to put it back on my iphone next December.

A very young Andrew McCarthy and Kim Cattrall and a cheesy Mannequin video aside, the Starship song took me right back to 1986 and I smiled. It reminded me of time spent with one particular friend then, and even after all these years I was immediately filled with a rushing power that made me feel unstoppable.

While our lives have taken us in different directions, when I was with this friend I felt like I could do anything, and this got me thinking of others in my life whose presence has done the same thing, and not.

The interesting thing about people with this power, is that in my experience they rarely make the best friends, and often are not lifetime friends. In many cases they are not good for you and at least in my life, I haven’t been very good for them either. But they do serve a purpose in pushing you forward into a new place – shaking things up a little and blowing out the cobwebs of complacency.  In my experience life has chosen these characters for you and they seek you out and are people who see you immediately.  You can’t hide from them or the relationship that is bound to transpire, good or bad, and if you run into them 20 years later, they usually continue to make you feel unstoppable.  This is their sole purpose for coming into your life.  

Words like unstoppable are great for selling books for motivational speakers, but not always for living a great life.

Now let’s talk about the antithesis of these folk. There are those people who come along who make you feel completely stoppable, stopped and hanging from a cliff, vulnerable and alone. Believe it or not, these people also serve a purpose and in many cases you can’t hide from them either. Like their counterparts, they show up loud and proud and teach us where to find balance and how to move back into a path of sanity.  Finding out what you don’t want is as helpful as knowing what you do, and so these characters play the role of stress agents.  After enduring these hopeless little twerps in life you probably will be heard to say something like “Never again as long as I live will I put up with anyone treating me like that.” Mission accomplished, hopeless little twerp. Thank you.

As I said, neither of these groups of people are likely the greatest friends to choose because they both push the outer edges of where your life sits. They too will have people come into their lives that sit on the outer edges and so it goes. Everyone gets this challenge in their own way.

The best friends are those who support you fully, know you are not superhuman, never leave you dangling and keep a watchful eye on your blind spots. They don’t tell you you’re  unstoppable when what you need to do is stop, or go out of their way to make you feel vulnerable to make themselves feel superior.  They give you a boot when you need to move out of a place you’re stuck, and they’re there to help you navigate the consequences of the next stage. The best friends take time getting to know you flaws and all, and meet you where you are.  They watch you grow and change and come on the journey with you, while you go on their journey with them.   

I must admit though, sitting in traffic listening to Starship and feeling that surge of unstoppable-ness did give me a thrill. It took me back to the 80s, a time when we couldn’t help but be optimistic and wide open to all possibility.  Everything was hot pink for one thing and we we were walking on sunshine. We didn’t know yet that Grunge was coming, or the recession of 1991. It was rose-coloured glasses all around.

“Take it to the good times see it through the bad times

Whatever it takes is what I’m gonna do

Let ’em say we’re crazy I don’t care ’bout that…”

What’s not to love? Here it is for you again: Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now

Love Mum

xo