Thick as a plank

Dear Jessica Brennan,

I was thinking the other day about how often we use construction and home building terms to make a point that is totally unrelated to that industry. So in this blog, I decided to use these expressions to hammer this little tale home.

Here we go.

If you wake up on a Friday morning after sawing logs, you might think, “I was thick as a brick not to realize that getting hammered on a Thursday night is a bad idea.” Now you’re screwed.

Later, you’re like a cat on a hot tin roof, when you’re in a business meeting and you’ve got your back to the wall. Jed from accounting, who’s dumb as a door-nail, is wiping the floor with you, so you throw a spanner into the works by bringing a new idea home, and nailing it.

Your boss then goes to the wall for you and says, “You hit the nail on the head!” That alone proves that the noisy sales-rep Janine, was wrong when she said that you were about as smart as a bag of hammers.

Janine has a screw loose anyway, and bounces off the walls, wired for sound half the day from a caffeine overdose. Talking to her is like talking to a brick wall and she sits on the fence on every issue. Yesterday she hit the roof just because she was asked what was going on behind closed doors with Jed, her sounding board  in accounting, who also has bats in the attic. Her reaction floored you so it is time to put up some walls between you and Janine.

When you started this job you thought it would be good to get in at the ground floor, and work your way up the ladder, but last week the truth that you are actually circling the drain, hit you like a ton of bricks.  You’ve got snow on the roof now and there is no opportunity for advancement. The writing’s on the wall.

Because this blog is on the house, and I have the floor, I will tell you unashamedly that writing like this is driving me up the wall,

Love,

Mum xo

PS – don’t even get me started on sports idioms or the gloves will be off.