Dear Jessica Brennan
I have been noticing recently that some everyday tasks that should be almost automatic carry with them a certain amount of shame. I realized this most recently when I was cleaning out the fridge last weekend.
“Why have you left this so long, Sharon?” I wanted to know, as I tried to wipe a bit of frozen Coke off the freezer bottom – the remnants of a Coke that had been put in there and forgotten some time ago. After the explosion of the Real Thing, I wiped up what I thought was the contents of the whole can, but apparently not, as last weekend I was still finding more once the compartment was emptied.
“What did you buy this for in the first place? Now you have to throw it out. Look at those ingredients! That’s not even food! Look at the calories in that!” I told myself as I tossed a half used squeezy bottle of chocolate ice cream topping into the bin.
Around and around in my head, berating and judging the voices went. If I listened to these voices I would never eat anything.
“Ew. What’s that? What was that when it went into the container? Disgusting,” was the voice in my head as I threw out a science project, Tupperware and all – a science project that would have impressed my Grade 13 biology teacher, Mrs Hanna. It may be the only time in my life I could have actually impressed Mrs Hanna. “How much did that Tupperware cost and now it’s in the garbage?!”
“You are imperfect, you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.”
― Brené Brown
This made me wonder how many times these nagging, negative thoughts go unnoticed as they rattle around in my head, and what impact that has on my happiness and day to day view of life. If I can annihilate myself during a Saturday morning fridge-cleaning, what am I doing in my work, or during yoga, or in the dress-shop change room or at the dinner table? This nasty self-talk is something to recognize and pay close attention to eliminating. That’s all.
Love Mum
xo
