Dear Jessica Brennan,
I’m talking to myself again….and to you, of course…
To the 25 year old me
Don’t go into the bathroom and close the door to cry. Wail, sob – cry – right out loud. When you’re happy, cry. When you’re sad, cry. Buckets and buckets of tears are a good thing. You don’t have to be OK all the time.
I know you think that looking pretty is fun but doesn’t matter. I know you don’t want that to be who you are – the girl who thinks that pretty is all there is. Good for you, but also enjoy it. It doesn’t last forever.
Don’t worry so much about money. Everything is going to be fine.
You are very cocky. Don’t lose that.
Forget what they told you about putting other people first. You do that naturally, so put yourself first when it is important to do so. You’re a pleaser, but don’t please so much that you become resentful.
You are a young mum, and you’re doing fine. Don’t worry, you should see how well she turns out. Keep your eyes open. Peter is on his way to you. He’s a genius, but love him anyway.
Write more – it’s the only way you know what’s going on with you.
You are a special kind of crazy so don’t hide it.
To the 54 year old me
Eat better and less. Drink better and less.
Don’t go into the bathroom and close the door to cry. Wail, sob – cry – right out loud. When you’re happy, cry. When you’re sad, cry. You don’t have to be OK all the time.
Stand up for yourself. Draw on that inner cocky 25 year old. Find your confidence again.
Write more – it’s the only way you know what’s going on in your head.
It’s OK to do absolutely nothing for a day. Relax.
Fight the urge to believe that the best part of life is behind you. Sit with your fear, your sadness, your joy and your hope. They all have something to tell you.
Some people are bad. It has nothing to do with how they were raised or circumstances in their lives. They are just little twerpy, jerks. Do you hear me? You can’t save them. Cut them loose fast.
When someone says you’re too old to do something, think something, wear something, get away from them because they’re highly contagious. If criticizing you makes them feel superior well that’s just sad. Wear love beads and flower headbands. Forget about those non-creative numskulls.
Love your friends, they may not be here for long, and you may not be either.
You are an idealistic kind of crazy so love it.
To the 83 year old me
What in the name of baggy saggy everything is that? Were you not listening to me when I talked to you at 54? Yeesh.
You better not still be going in the bathroom to cry.
Write more.
You’re not too old, so do as you please.
Be wise not crabby, and for the love of all things holy don’t talk about medical ailments to anyone but your doctor. Your hairstylist doesn’t care! Find something else to talk about. Contribute.
Read the paper every day. Go ahead and take Womens Studies at Western but for the sake of everyone’s lunch, don’t burn your bra.
If you still have one friend left – love them. If you’re the only one left – find a new friend who likes to swear and drink vodka. Love them fiercely and get into as much trouble as possible. In fact, try to get thrown in jail for a night. How cool would that be?
Do whatever you want. Drive Dear Jessica Brennan to distraction. Marry a 26 year old surfer named Krishna or Rebel. Peter won’t mind – he’s still touring I’m sure. Learn to roller-blade. Sneak a tambourine into the opera. You are vintage like a fine wine, so work it. This is your moment to shine.
Do not go gently into that good night…You are a perfect kind of crazy so go out with a bang.
Love Mum
xo
“The number of ways to live in one lifetime is limitless. So why limit yourself?” – Suzy Kassem
