Dear Jessica Brennan,
Sometimes I feel exhausted from striving and putting expectations on myself. I know I am not alone. We live in a world where we are trying to be more productive, try harder, be fitter, work smarter and push our boundaries. This can feel fun for awhile. Sometimes though, if you don’t take a break, you can feel sad, anxious, depressed and defeated.
I for one, don’t like feeling those things, so I have discovered a way to take a break. Now you might think that taking the break is easy. Just stop. Relax. But have you ever tried to do that after years of always being stuck in the “must be accomplishing at all times” mindset? It isn’t as easy as it sounds.
If you don’t take a break, you will just continue burning yourself out. This will be the habit that never changes.
So, here is what I do. First I check in with how I am feeling when I am trying to accomplish so many things. This image always involves action; things like being pursued. What do we say when we are overwhelmed?
I feel like I’m running into the wind
I feel like I’m trying to out-run this project
I feel like I’m being chased by that boulder from Indiana Jones
Even if it is the fun stuff we still say tiring phrases like this:
I’m chasing my dream
I’m pushing myself
It seems that being overly busy in your life and in your head involves a lot of running, chasing and pushing. No wonder we always feel tired in these situations.
After I have exhausted myself with this exercise, I replace the sprinting images with this. Me standing still in the midst of the hurricane and letting it blow all around me in circles of activity.
Instead of running into the wind, I let the wind blow right through me.
I see myself as just part of the wind. Instead of chasing or being chased; pushing or running, I just make myself transparent and as I dissolve into the breeze, I see life doing all the work.
I am a big fan of pushing myself and I like to try things that I’m not supposed to be very good at, but self-care is one of the most important and overlooked things for most of us. So remember, everything isn’t your responsibility. When you take a day, or a moment or a breath and watch yourself standing still, with life doing the work for you, it gives you time to observe the pattern of the obligation, as opposed to being chased by what must be done.
Ask yourself, is this nagging thing really something that is important? Is it something that still has to be done or are you finishing something just because you started it? Do you want to do it? If you don’t do it, what really happens?
There will always be lots to do, lots to accomplish and much sprinting and chasing and pushing. Once in awhile though, pause and feel how the wind still brushes your face even if you’re not moving. The sun still warms the tree, even when the tree sits still.
Pause.
Watch how life unfolds, even if you’re not participating in the frenzy. Just notice how chaos and stress can dissipate if you’re not striving. Be fluid.
Also, notice how all those people who can’t live without your efforts, who you thought would fall apart if you stopped for a breath, don’t even notice you’re no longer moving.
Love,
Mum xo
