Dear Jessica Brennan,
Somehow, gradually over the last little while, Dad and I have started having the conversations that people swear they will never have. These are conversations that comedians have been mocking for years, and they involve getting old. At your age Dear Jess, you are likely certain this won’t ever happen to you.
It will.
In most cases, it happens because of the scientifically proven fact that after you have lived with another human being for a period of time, you can no longer hear their voice. Even if you have perfect hearing in a doctor’s test, the voice of your spouse gets lost in some cacophonous tinnitus and you begin having ridiculous conversations (mostly with yourself) that include a lot of…
“What?”
“What?”
“Why don’t you listen?”
“You never hear what I’m saying!”
“I’ve told you three times!”
“I’m not saying it again!”
Add the new distraction of electronics into every conversation and the ability to communicate becomes even more watered down.
Dad and I had one such conversation a few months back that kicked off many equally ridiculous ones since. It involved paying the Chinese Food delivery person. It went exactly like this.
Me (calling down the stairs): “Is he here?”
Dad: “It’s on the dining room table.”
Me: “What?”
Dad: “The money is on the dining room table.”
Me: “Why did you say that?”
Dad: “Because you asked me if I heard.”
Me: “I didn’t ask if you heard. Heard what? I asked if he’s here.”
And so it goes. One more step toward the shuffleboard.
Love,
Mum xo
