Dear Jessica Brennan,
Last night in one of those jumbled thinking moments that come from too much brain activity and an obsession with Mr Robot, I was pondering what I would do if I was the last of my family and friends standing and I knew I had only one day left on this planet. What would I do alone with all goodbyes behind me? I would not be bothered about leaving a mark saying, “I was here”. Who would care in a sea of all those who went before?
I would look within and want to leave an everlasting mark on my own soul that I could take with me so in the millennia to come there would be an energetic whisper always vibrating, “remember you were there in that beautiful place”. On my last day, as angels stood by tapping their toes, I wouldn’t go on social media and watch videos, or complain about the weather or dust the end tables. I wouldn’t stress about a few extra pounds or limit myself by over-thinking all the things I should do, have done, be doing. On that day, I would recognize the gift of life for what it is.
I would want to wade into the lake, stare at the sky and press my cheek against the stone of a cathedral – “I am here”, fading into “I was there”. My feet would feel the grass, and my face the sun that warms not just me, but has warmed the faces of all great thinkers and brave women before me. The breeze, the rain, the trees and the sand…I would memorize the sensation of what is quiet and still, the everything of this unforgettable, tiny planet. That imprint on the energy of my soul is the evidence of my existence.
And last night as I was lying there considering all this, I heard the angels chuckle, and say, “this is not just reserved for your last day, silly”, and I looked outside and saw a star and understood with clarity just for an instant the fantastic vastness of all we are a part of, and suddenly my whole being transformed from jumbled to humbled.
Love Mum xo
