Dear Jessica Brennan,
One day I was explaining to Dad about how easy it has been for him to know who he is and why he is on the planet, compared to most people. Actually to be fair, I don’t know that I was explaining as much as I was blaming him for having such an obvious gift he is passionate about, while most of us have to duck and weave to find something we both enjoy and are good enough at, that someone will actually hire us to do it.
Dad can be pretty patient, (well not always), but in this case he was patient, albeit a bit bored with the conversation. He listened as I tried to tell him that not everyone has the advantage he has and that knowing what you are supposed to be doing with your life and how to turn that into a vocation is rare. He was only bored because this is a discussion we have had many, many times – the conversation about him being so lucky that he naturally knows how to do “it”.
Finally, on this particular day, when I stopped talking (and he likely could not take it anymore), he simply said, “Sharon, no one knows how to do it, they just do it. Either it works or it doesn’t.”
That hit me with a jolt. I think that I always imagined that there was some sort of secret recipe that no one was sharing with me, or I was not smart enough to figure out. This recipe included some sort of money-back guarantee that said that when you found your so-called true calling, things would work.
Wait, you can find your true calling and fail? Great.
Dad then rehashed years and years of his life, showing me that when he started out playing in a band, he had no idea he would some day perform with orchestras. He showed me that as one particular line of work wound down, another thing by necessity had to ramp up and eventually it became a career, not by design and not by accident – not easily and not always successfully – but just in that nail-biting way that things happen in life.
I realized that day that there are many reasons why people do not go all-in on the concept of a true calling. Some are good reasons, like they want to feed their family and won’t take the chance that they won’t be able to do that. Some fall victim to the opinions of other people. Some question that there is only one path. I have been that person, because I am interested in a lot of things. Some lack courage or opportunity. Some fear the inevitable failures along the way that always come with a journey that is bold. Some put the needs and passions of others ahead of their own gifts.
I am still no expert on any of this, so if you want real advice ask your dad, but the little lightning bolt that day did give me a clearer picture of how a passion is nurtured, and how terrifying it can be. I also realized that there is no shame in trying something and failing, and no shame in not trying something if you are at a place in your life when failure is not an option. While we cannot control life, we can control how much risk we willingly take and when we take it.
This entire life-thing is quite a balancing act and only you can decide on any intentional moves you want to take. Being a risk-junky doesn’t end well, but no risk will yield no rewards. Being scared-stiff and overly safe will leave you unfulfilled.
As Dad said, “No one knows how to do it. They just do it. Either it works or it doesn’t”, so take a chance now and again and see what happens. Whatever road you find yourself on will be the right one, because you’re on it.
Wheeee!
Love,
Mum xo
