Jerks

Dear Jessica Brennan,

Jerk is such a great word.  It says so much in just one syllable. So, let’s talk about jerks.  I was almost fifty years old before I actually figured out that some people are just jerks.  I don’t mean that some people don’t like me so I don’t like them, or that I might not really want to be around all other homo sapiens for various reasons.  I mean that some people are unkind, self-serving liars who are, well, mean.  They are this way because they choose to be and they don’t care who knows.  

When I was younger I always thought that these people were going through a rough patch, feeling insecure or had some childhood experience that left them less than congenial so I tried to please them, appease them and make them my friend.  This was the worst thing I could do. They tried to suck out my soul and fed their own egos on my desire to heal them.

As I said some people are just little jerks who aren’t worth bothering with, so learn that now and save yourself a world of heartache.  I know it’s not politically correct, but it’s true.  Everyone knows at least one jerk.

As your mother Dear Jessica, I want to give you some characteristics of these rotten gnats.  Here are just a few and remember, most jerks have more than one of these traits:

1. Jerks who take credit for other people’s work. What a jerk.
2. Jerks who use their status, wealth, or position to intimidate others and make themselves look better. Blech what a jerk. Run.
3. Jerks who pretend to be more important than they are.  You know her. Don’t trust her. She’s a jerk. Run.
4. Jerks who lie, then try to make out like you didn’t understand them in the first place. Oh yes, these are the ones who try to placate you with, “you must have misunderstood” whenever they get called on their lies. This is one of my most despised jerks. Stupid jerk.

There are really only 4 things to know about jerks.

1. Don’t believe one word out of their jerky mouths.  
2. They’re only nice when they want something.
3. They always expose their jerk-dom eventually
4. If you have a choice, and you always do, get away from jerks.

Love

Mum xo