Dear Jessica Brennan,
One thing I have learned, and continue to learn is that for the most part, when people outside your inner trusted group, ask you what you think, they really want you to tell them that you agree with what they think. They want you to tell them something that will make them feel comfortable.
When asked for your opinion, the expectation is that you will say something vanilla enough to be palatable to the person asking the question. Beige is king.
When you are in a group of strangers and someone engages you in conversation, they want you mostly to tell them what they already know, so that you don’t make them look dumb, and a good way to accomplish this is to state the obvious as many times as possible, in as many different ways as possible. That way if they didn’t know this painfully obvious thing when you met them, they will eventually catch on and be able to parrot it back to you by the time you’ve told it to them twelve different ways.
When you are asked to come up with ideas, really people want pretty easy concepts that they could have thought of themselves if they had lifted their eyes for thirty seconds from “The Bachelor”. They don’t want anyone to think you may have out-run them (in a race you likely didn’t even know you were in).
Don’t confuse an appeal for ideas, opinions or conversation as a request to be taken at face value. If you take it literally you will get into bother.
Amidst all the lip-service given to disruptors and innovators, it is important to recognize that a large part of the population treat innovation with scorn. Outliers are treated as social outsiders. Society is most comfortable sticking their tongues out and mocking like seventh-graders, in an attempt to bring the unique spirit back into line through a shunning that is meant to incite separation, pain and loneliness.
Well my beautiful daughter, don’t you believe them. In the words of Van Morrison, “Don’t rush away from your own ones”.
Choose your associations very carefully. Don’t fight for turf you don’t even want, or give your energy to races you don’t care if you win. There is no loneliness like insincerity or personal dishonesty, so when you have wandered away from the safe shore of your loved ones, and are among the seemingly endless sea of the shut-down masses, be very careful to maintain who you are. Keep your light on.
You are a special soul, one they will want to feed on, so be very cautious how you navigate those dark waters.
Love Mum
xo
