Dear Jessica Brennan,
How stuff gets made is different for everyone. For me it’s a bit cyclonic. I always imagine other writers with their perfect Moleskine notebooks and gold retractable pencils, writing in tiny perfect letters what their thoughts are, then transferring them to fancy programs on their computers with consistent filing systems where they can always find everything on a moment’s notice.
For me it is nothing like that.
For me if it is going to be good, then it has to begin messy. My process, if you want to call it that, often starts with resources I can touch – books, fabrics, candles – a vibe in the room that makes it feel sacred and secluded from the rest of the house, and a lot of markers and paper. A lot of markers.
Paper is key. It must be big and it must have the right texture – rough and porous, or my brain can’t work. Usually the paper that I start with isn’t the paper I end with. There is a lot of scrunching up and throwing away involved. Then I have to organize my thoughts, and that involves pacing and usually talking out loud. The cats particularly like this part. I walk in circles, around the kitchen to the family room to the living room to the dining room and back to the kitchen, muttering and sifting through thoughts. Then I sit down and start to put scratches on the first round of paper. An outline is key, and once my thoughts are on the paper, I can proceed with the real writing.
I used to try to write the way I thought I was “supposed” to, but I love this process now, a process that it has taken me years to perfect without self-judgement. There’s no music – too distracting as Dad has taught me over the years to listen to every note, every track and every change. Silence is key. A great expanse of time is imperative and tea plays a major role.
Once I am ready to actually write though, the flow of the release onto paper is concise, easy and the experience is nothing short of divine.
Love Mum
xo
