Dear Jessica Brennan,
When I was thirteen I wanted to go on a two week wilderness canoeing trip with a few chaperones and lots of kids who were older teenagers.
“You’re too young,” was the cry. “You can’t go away for two weeks into the wilderness with nothing but a tent and sleeping bag strapped to a knapsack, and a canoe. You’ll die”.
I was a pretty persuasive kid, and I went canoeing and I was fine. No bears ate me. I didn’t drown and I didn’t come home with a boyfriend. Phew. All was well. I went again the next year and the year after that, and lived to tell the tale.
When I was twenty-three and about to open my third retail store, people said, “You don’t have enough experience at your age. You will fail.” I did fail, except that in the end, experience was what I was getting. The fact that I didn’t have enough experience ended up being the point of the exercise.
When I was thirty-three I had a ten year old. “You’re too young to have a child that age,” they said. “Most girls your age are just starting a family.”
When I was forty-three, things changed. “You’re on the road managing a rock star at your age? Isn’t it time to grow up?” Suddenly the “at your age” meant I was too old, not too young.
By fifty-three I stopped listening, but I’m sure the “too olds” and “too youngs” still lived on.
As I have witnessed the “too old, too young, at your age” naysayers, I’ve noticed something. They buy their own story. They actually look the age they think they should. A lot of them appear old long before nature has taken its toll on youth. They get boring and sedentary long before their time.
One thing I have always loved about the UK and European countries is that ageism doesn’t seem to exist to the same degree as it does in North America. People shop in the stores they like, go to clubs and concerts they like, and musical artists can have long and prosperous careers. I mean Rick Astley can release a single in the year 2020 with no one looking sideways. (That takes a strong, strong man – Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.)
Dear Jessica, at my age, at your age, and at any age, be too old to let anybody tell you that you’re too anything – stand up for yourself, and always be too young to believe them when they say that you can’t live whatever life you want.
Love,
Mum xo
