Dear Jessica Brennan,
I like my own company, and I enjoy solitude, but I don’t like to be lonely.
I don’t think anyone does, but I do know some people who intentionally pick fights in order to push people away from them. If you start to get close to them they become unpredictable and rude and hurtful, all in an obvious attempt to create a wide chasm between them and the rest of the world.
“Don’t get too close to me”, appears to be the message, and the result is, they end up lonely.
A big part of this appears to be the lack of two important life tools; empathy and vulnerability. Now, I know that after a certain age, I only have so much patience with taking on this kind of project – the project of contorting myself to include someone who doesn’t want to be included. It takes a lot of energy, and I would rather put my steam into something else.
In my experience, these fragile, dimly-lit and often unlikeable souls may identify as part of a pack, but the pack doesn’t identify with them. So the cool character that is not sharing anything real about themselves and is disinterested in anything real about you, thinks they have friends, but they really don’t. They attempt to be an alpha and tell everyone else what they should think and do and get bent out of shape if you don’t agree with them, while the rest of the group rolls their eyes in as much pity as annoyance.
This superiority eventually leaves the closed-down human walking this planet alone. Alone, whether there are people around them or not. How sad.
I write this blog to connect with you Dear Jess, and to connect with the world. None of us are that special or that different to each other, either that or I guess, all of us are special and different from each other. In any case, we are in this together so why not admit our flaws and create a safe space where others can admit theirs too?
Separation; creating the “other” leaves us lonely and alone. Being vulnerable and empathetic creates friendships and connections that run deep and stand the test of time.
So at the end of the day, in being flawed we are free.
Love,
Mum xo
