Dear Jessica Brennan,
In this world of needing to strive, and to be accomplished, and be something, I often find myself in a kind of mental and emotional frenzy.
I’m not doing or accomplishing enough.
I’m not being enough.
I’m not enough.
This is a great way to feel disillusioned and get sick, if that’s what you’re after. That’s not what I’m after, so over the years I have isolated some things that help with this frenzy syndrome. Here are ten of them that I’m not very good at, but I’m trying.
- Practice Yoga and meditation. You don’t have to be accomplished at either, trust me. This is not a competitive exercise. Just do it, for as long as you can do it, whether it is three minutes or three hours. Don’t judge yourself.
- Trust that things are happening the way they are meant to. Oh boy. This is tough given that we all want to control the outcome of everything, but really? Look up. The planets continue to spin, the universe continues to expand and the sun continues to warm the earth. Look down. Those are your feet. They are holding you up, the grass is growing, even where it shouldn’t be, all is well for today. Breathe.
- Get out and meet more positive people. It has been my experience that finding positive people is a lot easier than you might think. It is kind of a myth that these people don’t exist. If you don’t know any, try looking somewhere else. Maybe try volunteering. Walk away from the moaners.
- Do things that scare you, particularly things you don’t want to do. Yes. Sometimes you are in a frenzy because you’re bored. You’re creating frenzy to draw some excitement to yourself. That’s the wrong kind of excitement. Take an improv class. Try on a bathing suit. Order a vegan meal. Write a poem and read it to a friend. Surprise yourself.
- Make sure on weekends you do some of the things that you really enjoy. These would be things you are not doing in order to make a living. Seek out nature. Take your camera. Sew something. Do a puzzle. Cook a really romantic dinner, and if you don’t have a partner to share it with, invite a friend. (Still eat by candlelight). Go to your local theatre, especially if you’ve never been. Draw a floorplan of your dream house. (Avoid shopping therapy and screen therapy, because often this perpetuates the frenzy).
- Find ways to calm down that don’t involve alcohol, social media or other numbing devices. Nature is good for this. Loving interaction with friends and family as well as a good old fashioned belly-laugh will help. Don’t make it difficult. Simple is best.
- Try something bold and crazy. Apply for a job you know you have no chance of getting, then laugh as you press “send”. Create your own solution for some huge, major problems like poverty, environmental decline and tea pots that don’t pour right.
- Follow your own advice. This is a tough one for me. I can tell everyone almost instantaneously what the best road to take may be, but I don’t always do that thing myself. Try it though. You actually give advice that’s good enough to follow. You know this.
- Sleep. Lie down and close your eyes in the middle of the day.
- If all else fails, do the one thing that you should have done first. (See item 1). In some way shape or form, whether yoga and meditation, or just by sitting there, stay present with your body and feel where you’re blocked – it is telling you what to do. Just sit with it, in all of its nasty uncomfortable-ness and anxious whispering.
Don’t fight it. Let it be. There will be an answer.
Love,
Mum xo
